So. It’s month’s end and suffice it to say, I did not fulfill the NaNoWritMo task of writing 50,000 words with the specified month. Not only that, I came nowhere near reaching that goal – of course real life things “got in the way” and there were various distractions along the way, but to be perfectly honest, these are just excuses. Over the past 30 days there were times I know I should have been writing the narrative [the fact that I’m working on this blog right now – by my laptop clock it is now 9:07 PM on November 30th – is such an instance where I should be focused on the story that I had started at the beginning of the month], but I just couldn’t. Sometimes it was due to my tendency to ponder and plot rather than write, as I chose to write as I go along, other times I was just lazy or tired – or lazy and tired. As stated in previous blogs, I tend to do my best writing (well, most of my writing) at night, so by the time the clock reaches 1AM, I’m usually nodding off and duly shut off the laptop and get some rest, even though the narrative is still running in my head. I know I should keep writing, but maintaining my overall health (and sanity) should be taken in to account.
As I’ve been “pantsing” it (that is, making stuff up as I go along) I’ve realized that the narrative that I have written has diverged from the preconceived plot I had thought the story would take, and the digression that I followed early on has strayed from what I had thought it would lead – and the bulk of chapter two (of which I am still in the midst of writing) may or may not have any actual relevance to the main plot line, even though said events will be the time and place my narrator will meet the main detective. The fact that the narrator is no longer the detective (as I had originally conceived) the filler that I’ve written thus far makes little sense, moving the overall plot much more slowly than I had thought it would. As I re-read what I have already written, I can see that I’ve introduced too many plot strands and raised too many questions, and might not have explained much of the quasi-alternate (kinda Steampunk if you squint) universe in which my story is set.
Yes, I probably being far too hard on myself about not finishing NaNoWritMo and bashing my own work, but I am quite self-conscious and far to critical of myself (might as well be brutally honest about myself before outsiders take the initiative to squash what little self-esteem I have). Despite my utter failure to write 50,000 words in 30 days, at least I did finish a bit better that I had last year (my first year attempting this feat) – as I write this (while not working on writing more of the narrative) the word count is 7,957, at least 3,000+ more than I managed last year. Last year’s effort is still among the works in progress I strive to finish, and there’s little doubt that this year’s effort (with a bit of editing and rethinking) will also be worked upon after month’s end.
I suppose at this low point, the only way to go is upwards and onwards (and maybe a bit sideways too).
[Yes, one of the “distractions” that cropped up this month was the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary episode “The Day of the Doctor”, which I’ve taken to watch every now and then, via downloading the episode on iTunes. A fantastic episode, with lots of questions answered and also more questions raised. What were the answers and/or the questions? Well… Spoilers.
Where will my musings lead? Will this novel ever make any sense? To repeat from above: